You'll Need Something More To Guide Your Heart, as you Grow into a Man, Let Mercy Lead, Let Love be the Strength in Your Legs

So in the past few days I've been reading in "unChristian" and then today in my Intro to Business class it was brought to my attention again, not by what was said, but because what we were talking about was something that my parents had helped me with nearly two years ago.
As is fashion in recent notes, I have brought the entire chapter; tonight is no exception Proverbs 4 been brought into the note, because this is written by a father (King Solomon) to one of his sons.
Yes, I admit it now, here I am, writing a note on Parenting a freshman in college. (and dad's like.....took ya long enough....you've been parenting since you were three....)

But this isn't about me. This is about all the Christian parents out there, raising their kids the way they need to be raised.

Here is Proverbs for chewing on, while you read the next part of the note.


Proverbs 1:8 Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

Proverbs 4:1 Listen, my sons, to a father's instruction;pay attention and gain understanding.
2 I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.
3 When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother,
4 he taught me and said,"Lay hold of my words with all your heart;keep my commands and you will live.
5 Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them.
6 Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.
7 Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
8 Esteem her, and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you.
9 She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor."
10 Listen, my son, accept what I say,and the years of your life will be many.
11 I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.
12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble.
13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.
14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evil men.
15 Avoid it, do not travel on it;turn from it and go on your way.
16 For they cannot sleep till they do evil;they are robbed of slumber till they make someone fall.
17 They eat the bread of wickedness and drink the wine of violence.
18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
19 But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.
20 My son, pay attention to what I say; listen closely to my words.
21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart;
22 for they are life to those who find them and health to a man's whole body.
23 Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life.
24 Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,fix your gaze directly before you.
26 Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm.
27 Do not swerve to the right or the left;keep your foot from evil.

There is so much about not just parenting, but how to live life in this Chapter that it's alot to swallow. Instead of bringing back in the verses, I'm going to refer to the verse number when I talk about it.
As in 1:8 and verse 1, "Listen", I know that sometimes, especially with kids and their "social issues" that it's hard to keep kids focused, but in all reality it's not just about children hearing your instruction, it is about you acting upon the words you say. It is about the parent actually doing what they are telling their kids to do, if you tell them to brush their teeth every morning and every night, they better be seeing you brushing your teeth every morning and every night. If you are telling them to read the Bible everyday, and you aren't reading the Bible everyday, then what is going to make them want to read the Bible? This is the same way with our Christian walk,(sorry this is off, but it was in the chapter before the one I'm in now in "unChristian") if we are talking all this talk, about how you shouldn't curse, and you should be so involved in church, and such, you had better be doing it, otherwise you are hurting your witness, and people are at a point in today's time, that they don't want your Jesus, if you are just like them. You have to be transparent with someone, whether it be your child, or someone you are trying to bring to Christ. You have to point out to them, that we are saved by God's grace, and we are striving everyday to be more like him, and that yes we may mess up, but God forgives, and still loves us. We aren't perfect, nobodies perfect the only way that things are perfect is together, through Christ.

Hebrews 11:40 "God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

In verses two through four it talks about holding to your fathers instruction, about how King David instructed his son King Solomon, to listen, and he essentially wouldn't die. Now we all hope that our kids won't die, but we find that there is some instructions that you give to a kid that can potentially save him from killing himself out of ignorance. I mean if as a child, we weren't instructed that those fast moving things out on the pavement won't stop for you, how many of us would have run out in front of a vehicle and nearly died? Also how many of us as young adults, when instructed by our parents, or worse by an officer of the law, that we needed to slow down, or we could get hurt. I mean these are simple things, that have been known to happen, because of all the years that there have been vehicles on the roads.

Verses 5-9 Wisdom, now this is coming from the wisest man to ever walk the earth. I would think we need to be listening to everything he says, but I mean honestly. If he says be wise and act on it, we should, I mean isn't that the same thing that our parents say to us? "I don't think it'd be best if you touched that stove." or "If you don't stop you'll be grounded." A child may not stop the first time, but I'm sure that if you are adamant and fulfill your word, someday they are going to change. If a child doesn't heed wisdom then what is going to happen? Their years are going to be few, or at least that's what I'd think, cause it says if a child heeds wisdom, his years will be many, and the opposite of many is few. This is what verse ten says.

Verses 11-19 talk about our journey through life growing up, and then even once we are grown. If we heed the wisdom of our parents, and stay on the right path. Nothing bad can happen. Our parents have our back and so does Christ ( I say this assuming that our parents have shared Christ's love with us also). It even tells us what will befall us if we don't listen to our parents, we will essentially be wicked and violent. Isn't that reminiscent of "problem children" today? I mean the ones who don't have any mental problems, the ones who are just straight up defiant. Why are they this way? Because they don't listen to their parents. Why don't they listen to their parents? Because their parents don't stay true to their word, they don't act on their words.

Verses 20-22 reiterate the need to keep the instruction of your parents close to you. For this will bring you ultimate life and health. Many will tell you, after they have strayed from what their parents have instructed, and done immoral things, that it would have been better if they had just listened to their parents. Why do you think this is? Because your parents instruction will bring you true life and health, through Jesus.

Verse 23 oh what I would give to have listened to my parents on this one. If I had guarded my heart, I would have a better testimony for myself to give to my future wife. But this alas is where I have slipped, and I do say that my parents were right. For some reason, when they instructed me not to go out with one person, I listened. But with another I didn't, and what I would give to have gotten out of that sooner. (Laura, you better do a better job!)

Verse 24 don't curse and think bad things. I mean honestly, we have been taught this our entire lives. Why is this bad though? For several reasons, one in the future professional world, you are going to be hired on how you carry yourself, this includes the words that come out of your mouth. Then the bigger one. If you are cursing or talking about inappropriate things, it hurts your Christian testimony. I was actually walking to the caf tonight with two friends who are solid Christians, and a fourth guy who isn't, both of them have been working on befriending him and showing him Christ, but one thing that I noticed as we walked, was what was talked about in conversation. They were talking about another person from our dorm and how he is. In what was talked about, was not something that should have been mentioned in front of a guy who is questioning why he should have Jesus, because we are no different from him (well other than that we don't smoke and dip.....). Let alone talked about in front of other Christians.

Verses 25-27 Just re-iterate how important it is to keep ourselves focused on Christ, and his glory. To not stray from the path. I can honestly say, I strayed from the path for almost a year, and it was not good, I feel like I lost such valuable time, that I could have been using for God's glory. Not to mention all the relationships I hurt during that time.

Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

I bring in Colossians because it cautions against parents overdoing it. I have seen this several times, where parents have been very strong towards their children about how they should act, and how they shouldn't be involved in things, and they didn't care. The children wanted everything to do with it, because they were constantly pressured not to.

Psalm 37:25 I was young and now I am old,yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken, or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;their children will be blessed.
27 Turn from evil and do good;then you will dwell in the land forever.

I love this verse, because it tells parents how important it is to live like Christ. IF you live for Christ your children will be blessed! Your Children! I mean isn't this the best gift that a parent can give their child?


So parents. You know how to instruct your children. You don't need to hear it from me, but maybe there was some insight you missed that I have pointed out. What I do want to offer to you, is that it works. I may have strayed some, and who knows, it may happen again (though I don't plan on it). But really your hard work pays off! Have faith. Here is the reason why I wrote this note. In reading the chapter "Get Saved" in unChristian, there was a staggering statistic. A person's view on faith is shaped by the time they are ten. So if you haven't showed your child Christ, if you didn't start out in the beginning raising your child towards being a Christian. Then you are going to have a tough time getting them to grasp Christ once they are grown. Only one out of six people become a Christian after the age of twenty, and somewhere around ninety percent of those, have spent at least a three month consecutive period in church before the age of ten. So the hope of anyone becoming saved after college is slim, and it's even worse if they have had no church experience.

The only thing that I have to say that I find is a let down from my upbringing is that my parents did not start daily devotions soon enough. I believe if you start daily devotions as infants with your children, and continue til they leave the house. There will be an expectancy there that is un-paralleled.

I have to say from my experience growing up that there is nothing in my upbringing that I would change, and I have several college friends who would say the same about how they were raised...some even who may have had to write Proverbs 4 when they were in trouble.......I know I have had to.....

Rachel, maybe sometime soon I'll write about grand parenting.


Proverbs 17:6 Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.

Are your parents the pride of your life?

(Title From "Let Mercy Lead" by Rich Mullins)

I confess I don't have alot, but what I've got is because of YOU!

Why is it that we want to be recognized for our works?

I mean given, some people like to stay in the back and not be noticed, but deep down inside we want to be recognized. We want to be appreciated!

James 1:9-11
"9 The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position.
10 But the one who is rich should take pride in his low position, because he will pass away like a wild flower.
11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich man will fade away even while he goes about his business"

Proverbs 16:5,18-19
" 5 The LORD detests all the proud of heart.
Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

18 Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.

19 Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed
than to share plunder with the proud. "

Proverbs 31:30-31
"30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

2 Chronicles 15:7-8
" 7 But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded."

8 When Asa heard these words and the prophecy of Azariah son of Oded the prophet, he took courage. He removed the detestable idols from the whole land of Judah and Benjamin and from the towns he had captured in the hills of Ephraim. He repaired the altar of the LORD that was in front of the portico of the LORD's temple."

Proverbs 13:13
"He who scorns instruction will pay for it, but he who respects a command is rewarded."

Ecclesiastes 2:9-11
"9 I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me. In all this my wisdom stayed with me.

10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired;
I refused my heart no pleasure.
My heart took delight in all my work,
and this was the reward for all my labor.

11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;nothing was gained under the sun."

I could go on with the verses all day, as a matter of fact in the NIV the word "reward" in all its forms appears seventy five times throughout the scriptures.

I'm reading this book, "Be A People Person" by John Maxwell. I've stated this in previous notes as well. Anyway, there is a chapter on Encouragement in the book. This is where I was reading today when I had these thoughts.

Why do we only reward the children?
Why do we loose focus on God and focus on our works?
Why are we seeking a worldly reward and not a heavenly one?


In response to my first question posed. In the church (Southern Baptist) we have AWANA's and RA's(Royal Ambassadors) ect. Where children are rewarded for the Bible memorization, and other good merits. Once we graduate to Youth, College, and even Adult Small Groups, there are no rewards. As a matter of fact, typically we loose the accountability that we had in grade school, for reading the Bible, and maintaining a daily walk with Christ.

Why don't we do homework handouts for everyone? Why not every week memorize a verse as a church or a youth group? Why not work on memorizing an entire passage of Scripture over a period of time? Do you know how much heavenly reward we could gain from this? Not only that, but we could allow for an "earthly" reward for the person who does the best. An incentive to try harder. But we have to be careful and not build too much into it. Not to take our focus off of Christ. But wouldn't it be great if we could find that medium, and everyone in the church body memorizing Scripture and growing in Christ in ways they haven't known since grade school!


Now on to the second question. Ego maniacs, self-righteousness. Why? Solomon himself in Ecclesiastes said that it was meaningless. Everything that the Bible talks about on the subject, talks about how dangerous it is. A straight path to destruction. Why would we want to reward ourselves, bring a focus onto us away from God? This is just lessening our reward. Oh it may be great to be noticed here, right now, for what we are doing for Christ, but wouldn't you much rather want a heavenly reward than an earthly one? I know I would.

There I go, I've summed up questions two and three in one paragraph.

But seriously. The Lord rewards us for keeping our focus on him. As stated in Proverbs 31. Why not live all out for Him and get the heavenly reward, than to stay focused on the world, and receive an earthly reward.

As stated in Hebrews 11

"If they had dwelled on the old country they could have stayed there, but they didn't, they were looking for a new one, and for this God was proud, and had a heavenly home prepared for them"
(that is extremely paraphrased)


(Title from the song Because of You by Keith Green)

Everybody loves him, but they can't get close, at least that's what he's told

What defines a friendship?

Many would quote Proverbs 18:24

"24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."

Typically, we just see the second part of that verse, and really I just looked it up for the last part, I didn't even realize the first part.

This is just goes to show you how much God is leading me towards what I need to see right now. Just so everyone knows, what I write about, it isn't stuff I just pick up, it's something I've heard or thought of, and God has prodded me to search further, I'm just asking ya'll to go on the journey with me.

Here I am right now, sitting in my dorm room (I really should be reading something for classes, but it's not overly important at the moment...) And this has been on my heart for the past few days. Last night I ate supper by myself, now I say this not to bring pity on myself, or any other form of glory or what you would think, I'm using it for a point.

When I started out this year at Tech, I had about six friends in the Arkansas Tech Network, two of which were freshmen like me, one an alum, and three who were current students. I have now expanded to Fifty-One friends from the Arkansas Tech Network. That is more people than I can tag in this note! But to be honest with you, there were probably three of them in the caf last night, and I didn't feel comfortable going up and eating with any of them.

A Friend who sticks closer than a brother. Really? I mean I honestly, have to say, I don't have a friend like that. I never have. Now I have many companions. MANY companions. I mean who can seriously go through all 400 and something friends, and remember each of their names? That's something I can do, not to gloat, but I can. But I can honestly say that I wouldn't feel comfortable walking up to any one of them and telling them some things about me.

It's not supposed to be that way. But I am yet to find someone who is willing to invest the time to get to know me like that. Now it can be disheartening, but at this point I am maintaining hope that it's simply because Christ is yet to provide me with the right person to be that friend. Because I certainly don't want to come to ruin. I mean none of us would even wish that on somebody. (well maybe we would.............but that would be a sin....so we don't). But it says MAY come to ruin. So there is hope yet!

(Title from Star of the Show by Everyday Sunday)